Yesterday I attended a yoga class (which is getting to be quite interesting with this growing belly!)
When svasana (final resting pose) arrived I just couldn't drop in. My body felt restless and my mind felt anxious and irritated. For the first few moments I slipped into that all too familiar place of self judgement.
"Why cant I just quite my mind? I'm supposed to be relaxed right now, what's wrong with me?"
Thankfully I was quickly reminded of the words that have offered me much healing and ease over these years:
I don't know how.
I don't know how to be still right now. I don't know how to quite my mind. I don't know how to be fully present. I don't know how to not be irritated.
This simple practice of radical honesty always seems to soften my body into a state of ease and relaxation, for it enables us to shift out of the brutal and relentless self attack and self judgement.
I don't know how to stop judging. I don't know how to stop doing this thing I think I shouldn't be doing. I don't know how to love all that I am. I don't know how to love others for all that they are. I don't know how to be gracious and joyful when life isn't going my way.
I don't know how to forgive. I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to not be addicted to social media. I don't know how to accept.
Can you feel the ease in uttering these words? It's like giving yourself a break, giving yourself permission to be human, to not have it all figured out, to not always be perfect.
This has been a tumultuous year for many of us, with a finale that has felt overwhelming and exhausting. Sometimes as we draw near the end of the year it can be easy to get even harder on ourselves if the year didn't go as we had hoped or planned.
So as the final days of 2016 slip by, I invite you to join me in taking time to offer more kindness, softness, and compassion to yourself through this practice of radical honesty.
What have you been beating yourself up for? What is causing inner conflict? Who do you feel tension with?
And instead of trying to take the righteous, spiritual, perfect approach, why not try the honest, human approach?
I don't know how.........
I would love to hear from you on this one. I know I experience tremendous healing when I honestly and authentically share my "I don't know hows" with others.
May you be blessed with compassion and tenderness for the innocence of your heart that is always just trying to do the best it can at any given moment.
I love you tremendously,
P.S. Are you struggling in your relationships? Do you constantly feel triggered by others? Are you entangled in living from "should?" Are you ready to heal your inner wounds of conflict and separation? Are you ready to stop taking on the problems of the world and instead be a catalyst for healing and change? Let's schedule a call and get you re-aligned with your fierce inner goddess so that you can wrap up 2016 with clarity and step into 2017 with purpose and fire. Click here to schedule your call with me to see if I'm the right coach for you.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!