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Do you ever feel as though you are taking on the energy or problems of others? Do you have an aversion to being around people who are negative or in bad moods? Do you take things personally? Or find yourself needing to perpetually defend yourself?
Are you ready to transition out of these patterns and untangle from the thoughts, opinions, and energy of others?
I'm so excited to share with you a profound insight I received awhile back that has helped me stay grounded within my own energy and essence:
Other peoples actions, words, and behaviors had nothing to do with you. You are not the root of their anger, frustration, or pain. And it is not your job or responsibility to fix them.
This recognition becomes a liberator, for now anytime you find yourself in the presence of someone who expresses irritation, anger, rage, or disagrees with you, you can pause, breath, and remember that it's not about you. These people are often simply showing us their inner unresolved pain, conflict, confusion, grief and trauma that they don't know what to do with.
We receive two prominent gifts when we can remember this insight in the moment of intensity with someone.
First, we immediately shift out of victimhood. For when we are personalizing everything everyone does and says, we are placing ourselves in the role of the victim, susceptible to everyone's shifting moods "out there."
Second, we disengage from the need to defend, which keeps us entangled in the energy of others.
From this liberated spaciousness, we are freed to remember that the only change we can ever make starts within.
So we can connect to the innocence of our heart and notice what aspect of ourselves has been triggered by this external person.
Perhaps the aspect of your inner child that arises is the aspect that want's everyone else to believe what she believes. Or the aspect that want's everyone to like her. Maybe it's simply the aspect of irritation, or anger. Or an aspect that feels powerless, or victimized.
Now in reality, life and relationships are messy. And sometimes when navigating through moments of conflict people say things to us that do hurt, no matter how much we recognize the root may not be about us.
I've had recent experiences of people who I could feel hated me, or at least had great disdain for me. And it hurts. It's painful to hear someone express such feelings towards you. These are important feelings to honor. I've felt tremendous pain and shed numerous tears feeling the hatred of someone towards me.
So I offer my heart these words: "I know this feels so painful. I'm so sorry this is so uncomfortable. It's ok to cry. It's ok to feel grief and sadness. I'm here for you, to hold and nurture you while you feel everything you need to feel. I know how confusing it is to feel as though someone dislikes you so much. I love you. I love you. I love you."
You can be the one to acknowledge whatever aspect of you is arising in response to the person or situation, and offer her your compassion, time, acknowledgement, and love.
Once your own heart has been tended to, you can then really harness and embrace your powers as an empath.
From your untangled internal spaciousness and ease you can feel into the root source of the other person's words or actions. Perhaps you sense a feeling of powerlessness. Or frustration and feeling helpless. Maybe it's pain from someone who hurt them in the past. Or unresolved trauma or internal conflict.
We can then stay sovereign in our light and be the one to acknowledge what they themselves may not yet have the tools, awareness, or capacity to. We can simply internally or externally say "I acknowledge your pain. Your frustration. Your anger. I'm so sorry this is so painful and intense for you."
May we all be blessed with the capacity to untangle from the chaos of others and stay rooted within our own inner light.