I want to start by thanking you. It feels like such an honor to be able to connect with you each week, to know there are like minded souls on this journey. With deep humility I thank you for sharing your time with me.
I recently heard someone say that we can control our thoughts. I hadn't heard this statement in a while and it caused me to stop and ponder.
You see, I used to believe that I could control my thoughts, and I spent countless years in the pursuit of purifying my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
And it was exhausting. And led me to become righteous and a little preachy.
The reality? I couldn't control my thoughts, and this relentless pursuit of trying to do so only left me in more inner turmoil. For I would have a thought that my inner drill sergeant had decided I shouldn't have, and would then berate myself for having a moment of weakness.
I would have a judgmental thought, a selfish thought, a jealous thought, an angry thought, even an evil thought, and would immediately try to clear the thought as if trying to get away from cooties. In hindsight, I was one of the most judgmental people I knew, and mostly towards my own self.
What now resonates with me is that we have the power to choose how we respond to our thoughts.
Curiosity is one of the primary qualities that I see smashed in so many adults. And yet as children, we likely all had an abundance of curiosity.
So today I encourage you to begin opening yourself to more curiosity. Curiosity about your self, your thoughts, sensations in your body, your breath.
One of the overused words in my dictionary is "how interesting." For I am always exploring my inner realm from a curious stance of "how interesting."
My inner experience on Thanksgiving: "Wow, I feel really irritated today. That's interesting. Where do I feel it in my body? Wow, this irritation is intense! Everyone is driving me bat shit crazy! I don't wan't to be around anyone right now!
Ok, it's ok that I'm feeling irritated. I don't particularly love how this feels. I kinda wish I didn't feel irritated because I would like to enjoy my family. And, this is what I'm feeling. Aspect of my inner child consumed in irritation, I see you. I hear how annoyed you are. Let me breath deeply with you. There is nothing wrong with you. I love you. I love you. Thank you family for triggering this inner aspect of irritation so that I can love her as never before. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
5 steps to take to cultivate more compassion for all aspects of yourself:
1. Cultivate more self awareness through a more intimate connection with your own Breath. Right now, take 3 full, deep belly breaths.
2. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. "It's ok that I'm feeling this way, or having this thought. I give myself permission to think or feel this." This unravels the inner judgment.
3. Get curious. What are you feeling? Where do you feel it in your body? What is the intensity level on a scale of 1 to 10? Find the primary feeling. Irritation, anger, jealousy, etc.
4. Internally say "thank you" to the people that triggered the thought or judgment. This unravels you out of victimhood and untangles you from other peoples energy.
5. See the thought or feeling as an aspect of your inner child. From here you can offer her acknowledgment, compassion, tenderness, and love. This is the embodied practice of self love.
May we all be blessed with liberation from the exhausting efforts of trying to control our thoughts, and instead harness our capacity to choose how we respond to our thoughts - responding with more compassion, tenderness and love than ever before.
I love you,
P.S. Are you struggling with your relationships, whether they be intimate, friends or family? Do you constantly worry about doing or saying the right thing? Do you feel overwhelmed by the energy and opinions of others? If so, I invite you to get on the phone with me for a 45 minute free discovery call. In this call you will get to know my coaching style and the ways in which I hold an unconditionally loving space for all aspects of you to be heard and integrated, guiding you out of entanglement with others. At the end of our time together we'll design a plan to assist you in liberating from others and grounding into your unique power inside a coaching relationship. To schedule your call simply click here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=12787719&appointmentType=2000958
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!