I recently heard an alarming statistic then when exploring potential job opportunities, women will only apply for the job if they meet 100% of the qualifications.
Men on the other hand will apply if they meet 60% of the qualifications.
Imagine how many opportunities and experiences we miss out on for fear of not being perfect!
When I heard that statistic I felt my inner fire surge. Women have too much to share to be held back for fear of making a mistake, looking stupid, or not being perfect.
Think of all the times where you stopped yourself short because you didn't master something right away. I know in my own life I've experienced this self imposed limitation in regards to money, starting new business ventures, relationships, sports, art, creating, etc.
And I no longer want to be limited, do you?
So what can we do???
We can offer our practice of radical self love. Taking time to breath deeply, slow down the nervous system, and connect with the aspect of your inner child that hates making mistakes, hates not being perceived as strong, intelligent, capable. Hates being seen as anything less than perfectly composed.
From this perspective, you are able to see the aspect of your inner child that just wants to be liked by everyone, that wants to feel significant and accomplished. In that clarity you can offer her the following dialogue:
"Hello darling. It's ok that you want to be seen as perfect. I know how uncomfortable and inconvenient it feels to be perceived as anything less than perfect. I acknowledge how much you hate it and how hard you try to fit yourself into a mold of perfection you think the world expects of you. I acknowledge how exhausting that is and how much anguish it must cause you. I'm so sorry for any and all pain you've endured. I love you. I love you. I love you."
Escaping the trap of manipulation
I've found in my own journey a tendency to only invoke practices outlined above in attempts to get away from where I'm at.
So for today, and over the next week, I invite you to simply explore sitting in this practice, without any goals of not being a perfectionist attached.
What if instead of pursuing some outcome you simply explored offering this innocence of your heart that wants to be perfect more love than ever before?
My intention in this offering is that you be blessed with the remembrance and recognition of your capacity to offer every aspect of your heart more love than ever before.
Because every aspect of you - every dark thought and emotion, every tendency towards wanting to be perfect, or significant, or strong - is simply an aspect of your inner child tugging on your pant leg asking for your acknowledgment, compassion, and love.
I see you in your radical uniqueness and I honor you. Thank you for your courage in sharing this journey with me!
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!